FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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