im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize