I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I cockslap morals
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize