First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
