It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
FUCK WHALES
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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