just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
