I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
