His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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