I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
