No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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