If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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