I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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