Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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