is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
