You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
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He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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