the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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