How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
