this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
