I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
