shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
