so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize