He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
