I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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