She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
His nipple licking is glorious
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