dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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