Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
