I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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