two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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