that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
