i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
