no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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