so explain again why im purple
no
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
