You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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