can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think my fart just growled at me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
