im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well you can't waste a boner
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize