Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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