wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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