That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I met the friendliest cop last night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Brb crying the tears of my youth