My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?