Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.

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(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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(740): View more from Ohio

Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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(352): View more from Florida

I used to practice getting hit by cars.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome

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(304): View more from West Virginia

So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions

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(678): View more from Georgia

in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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(289): View more from Ontario

One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?

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