Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm going to rape that little man

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  omg not your brother

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  (414): i'm going to rape that little man (414): omg not your brother http://tfl.nu/01hx
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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  (917): My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting. http://tfl.nu/u7rx
  Replies (1) Good night (870) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He has such a weird drunk-voice.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  dude, he's deaf.

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  (417): He has such a weird drunk-voice. (1-417): dude, he's deaf. http://tfl.nu/4u2p
  Replies (23) Good night (948) Bad night (1641)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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  (561): i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/x39u
  Replies (63) Good night (1103) Bad night (11206)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side

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  (425): the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side http://tfl.nu/wowf
  Replies (27) Good night (5621) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

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  (816): you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat http://tfl.nu/j8dy
  Replies (20) Good night (5440) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

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  (630): She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend. http://tfl.nu/zf6u
  Replies (14) Good night (5323) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis

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  (315): Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis http://tfl.nu/8w9k
  Replies (82) Good night (11397) Bad night (1787)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...

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  (321): Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds... http://tfl.nu/1h6m
  Replies (12) Good night (1302) Bad night (6760)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan

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  (815): Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan http://tfl.nu/827h
  Replies (20) Good night (8089) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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  (845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1
  Replies (4) Good night (5089) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long

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  (410): was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long http://tfl.nu/8pgr
  Replies (8) Good night (3441) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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  (617): Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules. http://tfl.nu/6l2w
  Replies (21) Good night (3337) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

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  (816): He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken. http://tfl.nu/2q6x
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?

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  (330): What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed? http://tfl.nu/wlz7
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (320)

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