I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?