It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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