Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
