Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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