dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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