She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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