How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish you could order shots online.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
