we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
