I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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