I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
