yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
