Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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