If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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