The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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