im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
