I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
