chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
