But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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