well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
