dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
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Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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