Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
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Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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