She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize