Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
