i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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